


A Scientific Hallowe'en Party

by longhairshortfuse



Series: One Shot Wonders [3]
Category: Welcome to Night Vale
Genre: Crack, Halloween Costumes, M/M, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-30
Updated: 2014-10-30
Packaged: 2018-02-23 06:16:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2537273
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/longhairshortfuse/pseuds/longhairshortfuse
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The scientists think a costume party is an awesome way to help them get along with the locals.<br/>Carlos is not convinced and escapes, possibly to a worse fate.<br/>Good thing Cecil is there!</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Scientific Hallowe'en Party

"Aw, c'mon, it'll be fun. Open up to the local community. We should try to fit in. Maybe we'll get fewer shouts of _interlopers!_ at the Ralph's if we let people get to know us."  
Carlos regarded his colleagues with something between horror and disdain.  
"I am a _scientist!_ I am not dressing up as an unscientific, unproven supernatural being like a ghost, or a vampire, or a werewolf even if..."  
"But you'd be _great_ as a werewolf, really, your..."  
Carlos held up a hand.  
"Even if you think I have the hair for it and would only have to stop shaving for a couple days and let my eyebrows do their own thing to complete the look."  
Rochelle and Dave put on their very best pleading sad-puppy faces.  
"No. Absolutely not. Not gonna happen." 

And yet a week later Carlos stood outside the lab wearing fake fangs, a black furry sweater of Rochelle's that would never be quite the same shape again although she said it was _totally worth it,_ his lab coat with a tail poking out of the back vent and a scowl.  
The costume was for Hallowe'en. The scowl was for inviting guests, _non-scientists_ into the lab for a party.  
Inside, the postdocs had done a super job of transforming the lab into a lair. Everything expensive and breakable had been carefully stashed in Carlos's office and locked up. The glassware was gleaming after several trips through the dishwasher and people were standing around chatting and drinking strange coloured substances from beakers and flasks.  
Dave, dressed up as Frankenstein's monster, lay on a steel gurney in the middle of the lab lit by a light cluster that had coloured plastic stuck over the LED bulbs, highlighting him in green and blue and magenta. Whenever a guest strayed over for a look he sat up and groaned, causing a few spilled drinks and a lot of giggles.  
Rochelle was cosplaying Granny Weatherwax, which is to say she looked the same as ever but with more dry ice effects than usual and her lab-coat was dyed inky black.  
Carlos the werewolf was trying to hate every second of this. 

A handful of giggling radio station interns arrived arm in arm, dressed as Disney princesses. One of them handed Carlos a bottle of something the kid was surely too young to have bought for himself and another blew him a kiss and said something weird about his voice coming later. Carlos grunted a reply then handed the bottle to Rochelle, who tutted in character and said she would have a glass for medicinal purposes only.  
Next arrived John Peters, you know the farmer, dressed as, you know, a farmer, with a young man who looked just like him only less weathered also dressed as a farmer. Carlos sympathised as the older one said, "Oh you science fellers, the young 'un just hadda come. Brought corn chips. Imaginary corn chips."  
Next to arrive was a man Carlos didn't recognise with a young girl. They were dressed as Magneto and Professor Xavier. Magneto grinned and shook Carlos's hand enthusiastically, Xavier said hello then, "Oh! So _you're_ Carlos. Huh."  
Carlos growled and she laughed. 

He heard the next guest before he saw him. Heavy, clanking footsteps, jingling metallic noises. He appeared around the corner.  
"Well _howdy_ pardner!"  
Carlos stared for a few seconds, shook himself and looked the new guest up and down and up again. Leather boots, Spurs. Chaps. A leather belt with holsters for what Carlos fervently hoped were not real guns. A checked shirt that looked remarkably like the one he couldn't find yesterday. A waistcoat, leather too? Neckerchief. Shiny star-shaped badge with _Sheriff Palmer_ engraved in the centre. Hat on at a jaunty angle. Massive shit-eating grin.  
"Uuunnghh..."  
"Oh that's adorable! You're staying in character. Oh! I mean... _hey pardner, lucky for you none a' my bullets is made a' silver."_  
"Ahnnngh..."  
Sheriff Palmer grinned.  
"Oh that _is_ good! You are clearly a man of hidden talents!" 

Carlos went inside to join the party. Dave had given up scaring the guests and was dancing with one of the princesses. Rochelle was making sure nobody got stuck with Magneto for too long. Professor Xavier was doing wheelies with encouragement from the sheriff and the postgrads made sure everyone's beakers, Erlenmeyer flasks and graduated cylinders remained topped up. One of them, dressed as Tinkerbell, handed Carlos a round-bottomed flask of something green with a straw and a paper umbrella sticking out of it and told him _drink up, Werelos!_

He was too hot and the sweater itched. He wanted nothing more than to disappear up to his apartment, lose the beard and change into normal clothes for a quiet night with a book or the TV. He slipped up the lab's internal staircase and opened his door, took in the sight of a disney princess making out with a young farmer on his sofa and retreated.  
He looked around the lab. The sheriff was chatting with a boyscout. Granny Weatherwax and Frankenstein's monster were taking turns to argue with Magneto. All the guests seemed to be having a fun. That was good, right?  
Carlos was bored. All those conversations and interactions going on! _How on Earth do people just go up and join in?_ he wondered.  
He sat on the stairs alone and watched, occasionally pulling at the straw in his vile green drink. 

He became aware that he was not alone. There was a presence on the staircase beside him, always just out of sight at the corner of his eye.  
 _We are all capable of being alone in a crowded room. I saw someone once fade away in plain sight, thin and vanish until all that was left was the splash of a single tear as it fell._  
The words seemed to go straight into his brain without bothering his auditory nerve.  
 _I am always here, I am everywhere and nowhere. I was, will be, here when the last stars fade to cold and the universe expands beyond all hope of communication. You think you are lonely now? You have no idea._  
"Whaaa?"  
 _All of these things, your future, your past, it is all the same to me. I have looked and I see what you will become. What you are. This is merely preparation._  
"Uh?"  
There was an almost audible sigh and a slight wind across Carlos's cheek. _Really, I can't work out what he sees in you at all._

Carlos left the room. He left the building, wishing there was somewhere he could go. Heavy footsteps clanked behind him.  
"Carlos?"  
He stopped but did not turn around.  
"I know you're staying in character, but I just wanted to say thank you so much for inviting me to your party. I wish I could stay longer but I have a show to do and I have to go. My empty studio will seem very quiet after being at a party!"  
Carlos turned to face the sheriff.  
"Quiet and empty? Can I come with you? Not... not for anything. I just need quiet."  
"Oh! That would be so neat!"  
They walked without talking. They looked a lot less out of place than Carlos feared.

Their route took the unusual pair past the Dog Park. Sheriff Palmer automatically moved as far from the entrance as he could, almost walking in the road to avoid it. He tipped his hat so that it shielded his view. Carlos walked a straight line past the obsidian walls. As they cleared the corner and waited for a walk sign, Carlos thought he heard something padding behind them.  
He stopped and looked. Nothing there.  
He started to cross the road and the sound resumed. He stopped again, turned round, nothing.  
"Is something wrong, Carlos?"  
"I heard something."  
"Oh good, you can hear and I have a radio show."  
Carlos frowned. Cecil bit his lip and walked on.  
The padding sound came back. 

"Cecil? I heard it again."  
Carlos had stopped in the street and turned round, searching in the dim streetlight.  
"What was it?"  
"I don't know. It was creepy, like an animal following us. Footpads and I'm sure I heard a growl, just low on the edge of hearing."  
"I heard nothing, Carlos..."  
"I'm sure, Cecil, I heard something."  
"Are you okay?"  
"I'm a _scientist."_

They waited for a minute longer, listening to the city's version of silence, which included the distant _whopwhopwhop_ of helicopters, frequent sirens and the occasional truncated scream.  
Cecil bit his lip again and gently touched Carlos's arm, pulling his hand away again as if he had been burned.  
"The radio station is nearby, Carlos, perhaps you'll feel better there."  
Carlos nodded and fell into step beside Cecil.  
This time there was no mistake. They both halted and whirled round at the low growl and the sensation of hot breath behind them.  
Carlos's heart beat crazily. Cecil grabbed his arm, looked both ways and said, "run."  
They ran.  
Something else ran behind them, scrabbling sound of claws on concrete. 

Suddenly, Cecil pushed Carlos into a doorway and turned, standing steady, staring at something Carlos couldn't see.  
Cecil drew both guns in a blur Carlos barely saw and pulled both triggers.  
There was a howl and a thump then Cecil disappeared from Carlos's view.  
One more shot rang out.  
Silence.  
Carlos leaned against the shop door, heart pounding and struggling to control his breathing.  
Cecil appeared, smiling proudly.  
"You can come out now, I got it." 

Carlos looked at the mostly-canine form on the ground, bleeding into the drain.  
"What... what the fu..."  
"Oh that? We get them now and again. I think it was attracted by your costume."  
The corpse began to disintegrate. Within moments the creature, whatever it's origin, was a mess of goop by the kerb.  
"Come on, the station is just there. I'll send an intern out with a bucket to clean the rest up."  
Carlos allowed himself to be led into the radio station building and sat in the producer's booth to watch Cecil do his show. It was quiet and he was alone. He needed that combination more than ever.  
Afterwards, Cecil called him a cab. As they waited in the break room for the lookout-intern to call that the taxi had arrived, Cecil handed Carlos a shot glass of a thick, amber liquid that stung his throat. The last thing Carlos heard before he passed out was Cecil's voice.  
"Good job I lied about those silver bullets. Ah, _lovely_ Carlos, such a shame you have to drink to forget!" 

**Author's Note:**

> Ah c'mon. I got a surprise bonus afternoon off. Whaddaya expect me to do with it? Housework?


End file.
